Blond's Have More Fun, Crissy Has A Big Dick, And Jasmine Lennard Is My Hero.

so over the weekend i found out that my fave 90210 stud is coming out and i may need to get a bigger dildo to prepare for my eventual affair with crissy.

so i read a while ago that someone on 90210 was going to be gay but i assumed it would be someone i wouldnt care about because its always someone i dont care about. like on rubicon. why cant james badge dale be the cocksucker? anyway it turns out the powers that be have decided to take advantage of the gayest face on the show and are finally giving me a gay character to lust after. trevor donovan's teddy is going to be a poof. the good news is that trevor is the hottest guy on the show.

the bad news is the powers that be obviously have no fucking clue how gay culture works. if you watch the show you know that teddy was head over heals for silver but his dad didnt like her and told him to break up with her. and then teddy got pissed cause she broke up with him and tried to get her back. this is not gay. when you're gay and in the closet the biggest problem is the whole girlfriend thing. you dont want one cause girls are icky but not having one makes your parents and everyone else ask questions. so its pretty much every gay guys wet dream to have parents insist you not date anyone so you can focus on your tennis career. then you wait until you go to wimbeldon and fuck novak djokovic. you do not go out of your way to get a girlfriend!!!!!

also this is supposed to be his boyfriend.

eh. hes not ugly but he doesnt give my manpuss palpatations. but i guess you take what you can get when you're in the closet like trevor er i mean teddy.

but really. she's so pretty. i think she could do better. lets just hope liam gets drunk one night and they fool around.

i want to eat your penis.

trevor that purse doesnt go with your shirt.

it would however go with this pink shirt. fag.

excuse me while i go play with myself.

okay im back. so now on to a very important matter of business. is he top or bottom?

well here he looks really excited to get fingered by that....thing. but that doesnt mean anything. those guys on sg4ge let girls play with their buttholes all the time but they always do the fucking.

but here hes practically shoving his ass in this guys crotch.

yeah hes a bottom. why do the ones i like always take it up the ass?

speaking of cum holes. heres crissy blowing me a kiss all the way from madrid. i love you too crissy!!!!!

why cant that be my cock?

i hate this bitch.

crissy: i think i might be gay. i really hate your pussy and ive been thinking about cock all day.

crissy - please can i fuck tim in the ass?
bitch: no!

so if anyone knows any hot portuguese guys who look like crissy please send them my way cause this bitch is seriously cock blocking.

Thinking Made Kelly's Brain Hurt And Monday's Gossip Girl Finally Convinced Me That I Want Armie To Hammer My Ass.

warning this is a telly post. if you dont want to listen to me rant like a school girl about all the shows giving me wood this week than move right along.

so i didnt get to watch gossip girl on monday and instead watched it last night along with 90210 and the real housebitches of nyc. and after the marathon of awesomeness that ensued i just may make a habit of it.

first the housewives. watching kellys brain spasm pretty much gave me the biggest cum shot of my life. really. watching two women has never given me as much pleasure as that fight did. i dont know if this was faked or not but. wow. here's a taste.



so basically kelly is...kelly cant really be put into words. but ill try. so to break this down for you in gossip girl speak kelly is georina, bethenny is blair (but slightly nicer), and this whole thing can only end one way...



speaking of gossip girl. how uh-fucking-mazing was that episode????? armie hammer shirtless? yes please!!

i really want to suck on those nipples. they're calling out to me.


and this is where im about to put my ass on his face. see how happy it makes him.


serena you know i love you. when you fucked nate (who looked especially hot last night) i admired you. when you made love with dan i was slightly perplexed as to why you gave up the pretty pink penis for that hairy beast but he looks like a spanker so i understood. but if you dont get your hands off my man i will pull that blonde hair right out of your head!!


fucking on. so if you ever wanted to know what magical word turns a recently reformed bad girl back into her bitchy self its blair. just remind her what evil, conniving, backstabbing slut had her banished from her kingdom and all that revolting niceness disappears. at least thats what they'd like us to think. turns out next week shes being nice to blair. yuck!



but whether her evil side comes out to torture blair or the shows newest villainess poppy i dont really give a shit. as long as georgy unleashes her evil on someone, anyone, ill be happy.

speaking of evil. what the fuck is going on with 90210? over the last few weeks its gotten really good. between silver going bi(polar), donna martin totally living up to her reputation (i never watched the old show but everyone seems to cream themselves over donna), and most importantly liam making my hole twitch (he talks and i cum) i find myself suddenly enjoying this show. and dont even get me started on naomis sister. shes a crazy bitch who sleeps with her little sisters boyfriend and while that totally sounds like something my sister would do to me i love the bitch. keep it up 90210!!