Sunday, March 1, 2009

Please Remind Me Why I Gave That Fucker A Key

so ever since i gave ab a key he keeps popping in unannounced and it scares me every time. is there some sort of cowbell i can have attached to his dick so ill know hes around every time he decides to show up without telling me?

the first time it happened i had just gotten home thinking i had the place all to myself since i knew rm was out. so you can imagine how freaked out i was when some half naked jackass dancing around in a towel and dripping all over the place walks out of my room singing circus. it scared the shit out of me but it turned out the jackass was just my boyfriend. as much as it scared me this turned out to be a good thing as it presented the perfect opportunity for some blackmail as my boyfriend likes to pretend he doesnt even know who britney spears is. but deep inside all those muscles is a nelly queen.

another time i woke up one morning and went into the kitchen. on my way in there i had seen rm walking into his room. so when i walked into the kitchen and saw someone bending down doing god knows what it startled me. i told ab that just because he has a key doesnt mean he doesnt have to call or knock or announce his presence anymore. he said thats exactly what it means. seriously. a cowbell. for his cock. a cockbell.

then last night im in bed asleep. i was having a dream which escapes me at the moment but i woke up cause i thought i heard the door open. i knew rm was asleep but i was still delirious and thought maybe i was dreaming and didnt feel like getting out of bed. i was stuck somewhere between dream world and this world and was kind of out of it. then i thought i heard someone stumbling around but once again i wasnt sure if it was real or it was just my imagination. then i hear my door creak open. in my delirious state i thought chace crawford had finally tracked me down and was coming to plow my ass with his pretty pink penis or maybe even shove it down my throat so id be too busy sucking on it to call him gay. so of course i was hard. instead it was just my drunk boyfriend hopping into bed with me. he said he wanted to fuck and i told him i was too tired but then he said the magic words. you can just lay there. so i said fine and he went about opening my ass up with his tongue. eventually i got up on my knees so he could stick his cock in. he went slow at first but after a while he grabbed my hips and started fucking me hard. then chace, oh yeah he was there too, started jerking me off. and every time either one of us got close ab pulled out and went back to eating me out. or maybe that was chace too. it went on for about an hour or at least what felt like an hour which was a bit long for me considering how tired i was. but at the same time it was so fucking hot. my prostate was in heaven. finally he decided to let me cum. so he pulled out, turned me over on my back, and jerked us both off on my stomach. then he collapsed and fell asleep. which pissed me off cause here i was tired as fuck laying in bed covered in cum and sweat. i didnt feel like moving but i got up and cleaned myself up. finally i got back into bed at which point the snoring started. argggg!!!! hes lucky hes as good at cuddling as he is at annoying me. but anyway its been decided. next time he cums on me, and most of it was his, hes the one cleaning it up. he'll use his tongue if he has to. i dont care if he hates the way it tastes. bitch.

6 comments:

J said...

awww, im so jealous

Anonymous said...

Ab sounds so sweet!! He must like you a lot! You guys sound like a great couple!

mac20 said...

Does "hes the greatest man that has ever lived and hes an amazing lover" help your memory? Stop proving that bitch is also a verb, or ab might take his precious cum somewhere else.
Be smart enough to known when to keep your ass open, and your mouth shut. Unless it's ab's bj time, then by all means, open wide!

Anonymous said...

Now I'm confused!! I thought we liked ab again? Or was this all good things? My brain can't keep up with your sarcasm or non-sarasm anymore.

Those are really are the magic words for sex sometimes!

Robert Cox said...

God you have the pottiest mouth on you!
Love it. x

dickophile said...

j - aren't you all? :)

tmnd - thanks. we are quite the pair.

mac - actually he made me write that "greatest man...amazing lover" bit. and you left out that along with his precious cum he'll be taking his ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, and one night stands all of whom he'll probably lie about. then theres his annoying not to mention hypocritical problem with jealousy. i love you maccy but dont forget you're supposed to be on my side! bitch. :p

em - we do like him again. this was sarcasm love. though it is a bit of an adjustment getting used to him showing up unannounced because he really did frighten me but i wouldnt have given him a key if i didnt want him around. the cleanup after we fucked though was annoying. im not joking about the tongue thing.

yeah. sex when you dont have to do anything is great.

bobby - haha. glad you enjoy it coxxy!