Tuesday, October 28, 2008


bitch stole my man. its not like she knows what to do with him or his perfectly shaped penis which probably cums gold. she's 15!

im totally sending blair and georgina after her.

Monday, October 27, 2008


so there's this guy. gorgeous. he plays some sort of sport. whatever. i want to fuck him. and he wants me bad. obvs. and hes in the closet which is perfect cause hes not gonna tell anyone he fucked a guy so ab would never know. (unless he enjoys himself so much he decides to come out and whisk me off to london where we'll fuck all day and troll the pubs for ruggers all night.) so i discuss this with rmgf. and she says i cant cause i have ab and we like ab. ab is sweet. ab is funny. ab is perfect and we dont want ab to find out and leave. and im like if hes so great why dont you fuck him and shes all i try but he prefers cock to cunt. and its true. (and before you say anythig she said cunt. not me. i know how you women can be. not that there are any reading this.) so i say okay and will pawn jock off on ab's ex who i have a love/hate relatinship with but who i will hate less if i know hes busying himself fucking someone else. and i will love him if he gives me details like how big his cock is and what he does with it. but something must be done. i must find jock a fuck bud or get him back on the puss (which rmgf has volunteered to do) cause if this flirting doesnt stop soon i think im gonna cave and melt into those big paws of his and let him have his jockish way with me. i may even wear a jock so he can have easy access.

p.s. john mccain. barack obama. sarah palin. joe biden. young. (you can ignore all that regular readers. its just so we can get some extra hits and shock a few republicans. or help a few gay republicans realize the joys of gay sex.)

everyone fuck each other.

Friday, October 17, 2008


firefox is like the love of my life but when it comes to videos its always fucking with me. sometimes it will play them but then other times it starts acting weird and with youtube vids will only play the first two seconds. i cant figure out what to do and its really getting on my nerves. anyone else have this problem? how do i fix it? ie works fine but i do not wish to use it. i wish to have a clean break with it cause it was never a very good boyfriend...er browser and i dont want to go back to a bad relationship.

mojo is the best.

figures it would take porn to get me blogging again. i see sticky fingers in my future.

Friday, October 3, 2008

So Once Again London Preppy Breaks My Heart. (AKA London Preppy Is Dead.)

so did you hear? that ungrateful wanker has left us. abandoned us. i devote time and energy to reading that blog. to lusting after those nipples. to dreaming of joining a threesome with him and scott. i anxiously awaited new posts like some silly bitch who had nothing better to do but read some guys blog. why? why is he doing this? i just....why?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

you know i still remember the first time my sexy adonis broke my heart. it was when i figured out that his bret easton ellis tattoo was a fake. i actually thought it was real. i was duped. and when i figured out the truth it was never the same. i knew he stretched the truth on there but i found myslef wondering how deep the deception went. each word i analyzed wondering if it was lie. i no longer believed he worked in an office. i doubted the existence of american girl. it was just lp in a wig. scott? maybe some actor he hired. mommy and daddy? he's probably an orphan. why? just why?

he didnt even tell me it was over. i had to hear it from somebody else. when i first read it on dc cised i didn't believe it. it couldn't be true. he wouldnt do this to me. we had a few good years left surely. we were about to embark on an adventure in sydney. everything was fine and then i go over to london preppy for some reassurance. for him to kiss my forehead and tell me he still loves me and j is just spreading silly rumors. and these are the first words i see: This is the last London Preppy post. why? just. why?

so i think i am going through the five stages of grief.

denial - when i first heard i refused to accept it.
anger - that stupid ungrateful midget!!! how could he!! i loved him!!!!!!!!!
bargaining - well. actually that hasnt happened yet. but i think pretty soon ill be offering up my inheritance if he keeps the blog going like the good old days.
depression - im in this one as i type. im sad. and i dont know why. it was just a blog right? no. no it wasnt. it was a way of life.
acceptance - i refuse this one.

why? just. why?

i guess its over now. london preppy is gone. dead. never coming back to me. i feel like izzie after denny died. only i have no pretty pink dress. and none of my friends are sympathetic. ab is looking at me like im a loon.




okay so all of that silliness helped. i think i have accepted it. i said i wouldnt but i think i have. the truth is i love lp. hes funny and sexy and sweet. and not a midget (sorry about that by the way. i was angry remember?) and this is probably the best for him. it must be exhausting writing a blog that often. and it wasnt even a blog. it was a story. that he devoted so much time and energy to. and for that i am grateful. so im going to let him go. im going to let him be happy and do whats best for him. now ill just anxiously await his first book. and maybe he'll get lucky like belle and someone will make a london preppy tv show!! oh wouldnt that be amazing? maybe get johnathan rhys meyers to play him. hes short and hot and knows how to play truly iconic characters. so yeah. i guess thats it. london preppy is dead. and some how i have finally accepted it...............................

why? just. why?