so did you hear? that ungrateful wanker has left us. abandoned us. i devote time and energy to reading that blog. to lusting after those nipples. to dreaming of joining a threesome with him and scott. i anxiously awaited new posts like some silly bitch who had nothing better to do but read some guys blog. why? why is he doing this? i just....why?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
you know i still remember the first time my sexy adonis broke my heart. it was when i figured out that his bret easton ellis tattoo was a fake. i actually thought it was real. i was duped. and when i figured out the truth it was never the same. i knew he stretched the truth on there but i found myslef wondering how deep the deception went. each word i analyzed wondering if it was lie. i no longer believed he worked in an office. i doubted the existence of american girl. it was just lp in a wig. scott? maybe some actor he hired. mommy and daddy? he's probably an orphan. why? just why?
he didnt even tell me it was over. i had to hear it from somebody else. when i first read it on dc cised i didn't believe it. it couldn't be true. he wouldnt do this to me. we had a few good years left surely. we were about to embark on an adventure in sydney. everything was fine and then i go over to london preppy for some reassurance. for him to kiss my forehead and tell me he still loves me and j is just spreading silly rumors. and these are the first words i see: This is the last London Preppy post. why? just. why?
so i think i am going through the five stages of grief.
denial - when i first heard i refused to accept it.
anger - that stupid ungrateful midget!!! how could he!! i loved him!!!!!!!!!
bargaining - well. actually that hasnt happened yet. but i think pretty soon ill be offering up my inheritance if he keeps the blog going like the good old days.
depression - im in this one as i type. im sad. and i dont know why. it was just a blog right? no. no it wasnt. it was a way of life.
acceptance - i refuse this one.
why? just. why?
i guess its over now. london preppy is gone. dead. never coming back to me. i feel like izzie after denny died. only i have no pretty pink dress. and none of my friends are sympathetic. ab is looking at me like im a loon.
why?
just.
why?
okay so all of that silliness helped. i think i have accepted it. i said i wouldnt but i think i have. the truth is i love lp. hes funny and sexy and sweet. and not a midget (sorry about that by the way. i was angry remember?) and this is probably the best for him. it must be exhausting writing a blog that often. and it wasnt even a blog. it was a story. that he devoted so much time and energy to. and for that i am grateful. so im going to let him go. im going to let him be happy and do whats best for him. now ill just anxiously await his first book. and maybe he'll get lucky like belle and someone will make a london preppy tv show!! oh wouldnt that be amazing? maybe get johnathan rhys meyers to play him. hes short and hot and knows how to play truly iconic characters. so yeah. i guess thats it. london preppy is dead. and some how i have finally accepted it...............................
why? just. why?
8 comments:
When I first saw the title on Google Reader I thought it was him! Its ok though, we are all mourning for LP. It just takes time to get over him...
but how much time? i want the hurt to go away.
OK, I'll go for very very very good this time [insert etc]
you have no idea how much your validation means to me. i would love to know if you think im good in bed....
I think he will at some point return, perhaps in the form of a blazing phoenix shooting across the Sydney horizon. I see this not as a death but as a precursor to rebirth.
thanks toby. i like that.
No, LP is not coming back. He might up load a post here or there, but I've been around long enough to know that bloggers don't come back.... might try for a bit, but then fade, especially a blogger trying to get an audience. Bloggers that blog for themselves, and don't care if anyone reads them, they will be around.. they never go away. LP is going for the book!!
lalalala!! i cant hear you!!!
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