Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Mojo Called Me Out And Now My Inner Georgina Is Gonna Bend Him Over And Spank Him

so i was gonna answer this in the comments but decided mojo should take his spanking publicly.

so this is the first part of mojis comment on this post.

at least your mom didn't see your man's dick and then go down on him. JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

haha. okay this is admittedly funny though it has put a very disturbing image in my head. im already fucking my father. i dont need to throw my mother in the mix too.

and here is the rest of his comment.

I'M NOT EVEN IN YOUR LINKS ANYMORE! For shame dickypoo. I thought we were better than that lol

okay so is your wangboner so big its obstructing your view of the computer screen? your link is right where its always been. you just have to click show all. my links put the most recent posts first and since you have no feed yours is always at the bottom. and at least you have a link on my blog. do i have one on yours moji??? no! i dont! and have i ever once complained? no! so fuck you moji!

p.s. thanks for that hot new leo scene. you always know how to make me cum all over myself. kisses. love you bitch.

Thinking Made Kelly's Brain Hurt And Monday's Gossip Girl Finally Convinced Me That I Want Armie To Hammer My Ass.

warning this is a telly post. if you dont want to listen to me rant like a school girl about all the shows giving me wood this week than move right along.

so i didnt get to watch gossip girl on monday and instead watched it last night along with 90210 and the real housebitches of nyc. and after the marathon of awesomeness that ensued i just may make a habit of it.

first the housewives. watching kellys brain spasm pretty much gave me the biggest cum shot of my life. really. watching two women has never given me as much pleasure as that fight did. i dont know if this was faked or not but. wow. here's a taste.

so basically kelly is...kelly cant really be put into words. but ill try. so to break this down for you in gossip girl speak kelly is georina, bethenny is blair (but slightly nicer), and this whole thing can only end one way...

speaking of gossip girl. how uh-fucking-mazing was that episode????? armie hammer shirtless? yes please!!

i really want to suck on those nipples. they're calling out to me.

and this is where im about to put my ass on his face. see how happy it makes him.

serena you know i love you. when you fucked nate (who looked especially hot last night) i admired you. when you made love with dan i was slightly perplexed as to why you gave up the pretty pink penis for that hairy beast but he looks like a spanker so i understood. but if you dont get your hands off my man i will pull that blonde hair right out of your head!!

fucking on. so if you ever wanted to know what magical word turns a recently reformed bad girl back into her bitchy self its blair. just remind her what evil, conniving, backstabbing slut had her banished from her kingdom and all that revolting niceness disappears. at least thats what they'd like us to think. turns out next week shes being nice to blair. yuck!

but whether her evil side comes out to torture blair or the shows newest villainess poppy i dont really give a shit. as long as georgy unleashes her evil on someone, anyone, ill be happy.

speaking of evil. what the fuck is going on with 90210? over the last few weeks its gotten really good. between silver going bi(polar), donna martin totally living up to her reputation (i never watched the old show but everyone seems to cream themselves over donna), and most importantly liam making my hole twitch (he talks and i cum) i find myself suddenly enjoying this show. and dont even get me started on naomis sister. shes a crazy bitch who sleeps with her little sisters boyfriend and while that totally sounds like something my sister would do to me i love the bitch. keep it up 90210!!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

My Mother Saw My Boyfriend's Dick: A Cock-tionary Tale By Tim Frix

so heres a piece of advice. next time you decide to walk around your boyfriends apartment naked check to make sure his mothers not there first. especially if the night before your boyfriend told you his mother was coming over to take him to brunch. sure you may have been too busy nursing a hang over to think rationally but guess what? your boyfriend doesnt give a fuck!

but seriously. why do these fucking things always happen to me?! cause if it wasnt already awkward enough my mother saw my boyfriend dripping wet covered only by a towel things are even more awkward now that shes seen his dick. the dick he uses every night to fuck her son until he cums all over himself like a little bitch. oh and to add insult to injury when he realized his folly and turned to walk back into my room he did so slowly. as though he wasnt even embarrassed. and then, to top it all off. he. scratched. his. ass. so as you can imagine brunch was extremely uncomfortable. i spent most of the time in silence, hoping my mother wouldnt bring up the events that had just transpired. she on the other hand talked. and talked. and talked. hoping to avoid some sort of awkward conversation lull. fun times!

and of course when i got home i found no sympathy. ab thought it was funny, i can only assume rm agreed with him since he was too busy laughing his ass off to express his thoughts on the issue, and my sister simply wondered aloud how long it had been since my mother had seen a cock. rmgf was the only one who felt my pain as her mother once saw rm naked. though it was under different circumstances as he was on top of rmgf at the time.

so, have you guys ever had a parent see your boyfriend naked? howd you deal with it? live in complete denial or face it head on? and do you agree with rmgf that i should just be grateful that when my mother finally saw my boyfriend naked his dick was flaccid and hanging between his legs as opposed to being hard and balls deep in my ass? cause personally i think i would have preferred it in my ass than her actually seeing it.

well if you'll excuse me rm sounds like a hyena when he laughs and its annoying me. so i think ill go smother him with a pillow. or my ass.

LC's Leaving But Who The Fuck Cares? Kristin Cavallari Is Back!!

so perez hilton says that krisin is coming to the hills and i could not be happier! kristin was the hottest bitch in laguna! and all the boys wanted to fuck her puss which of course means i wanted to be kristin. and while i finally accepted lc as the resident reality tv queen i could not be happier that the old queen is back for her crown!!! cause really any guy that lauren ever had kristin blew him first. so while you cream yourselves with excitement let us take a walk down memory lane.

so do you think speidi is scared? cause im pretty sure kristin will chew them up and spit them out. and what hot boys will she hook-up with? oh the possibilities.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

What The Fuck Did They Do To Georgina?!

this is all blairs fault. and im sorry honey but as much as i love you i will never forgive you for this fuckery. birds are chirping for fucks sake!! this better be an act. some sort of plot to destroy blair by seducing chuck with her good girl act. cause unless she eats those chirping birds alive heads will roll!!! i want the old georgina sparks back!

Does Anyone Else Want To Fuck Asher Roth? Cause I Do!

i cant help it. hes just sooo cute! and dirty. like a straight me!! i dont know how it happened. it just snuck up on me. he went from some twinky looking pothead to this hot piece of meat i cant stop obsessing over.

show us the cock! show us the cock! show us the cock!

so you're the best at sex? prove it roth! fuck me so hard my roommate hears my screams, walks in on us, and then larks on his go-kart! gay sex makes him squeamish.

you're so fucking hot asher! please fuck me! please! you'll love my ass more than college!

blow jobs make bad days better! ask my boyfriend!

okay. sorry. had to get that out of my system. moving on. here are some hotties on swedens got talent. no cock but plenty of ass.

sorry if this post is lame. lots of utube lately. keep meaning to do a pic post but frankly im just too lazy at the moment.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Edie's Not Really Dead, Right? She Faked Her Death, Right? She's Cumming Back, Right?!

i was in denial until today. kept hoping that it was all a dream. or that maybe she would be in a coma. but just like that edie britt went out not with a bang but with a whimper. sure it was the whimper of a woman enjoying some hunk eating her puss out. but still. i guess i just always figured if they ever really killed edie she'd die in an explosion or maybe at the hands of susan. not in some weird car crash/electrocution. it was nice though getting to see the nice-ish side of edie. but it was a huuuuuge mistake to kill her off. cause whos gonna get all those flaccid, neglected dicks on wisteria lane hard now? speaking of dick. travers got hot! but is anyone surprised edie's son turned out to be hunk? so, do we think he likes the cock as much as his mom did? he is in an all boys school after all. and from what i hear those boys are all a bunch of queens.

and speaking of queens was bitches & sluts a total let down or what? sure we got this hot kiss...

but i am pissed b&s passed up the opportunity for what could have been a groundbreaking move towards equality. or at least jerk-off material for me. not only was it cruel to tease us like that it was fucking unbelievable. we all know scotty and kevin are both bottoms so you know neither one of them is satisfied in this sham of a marriage. and there is no way their twitching holes would let them turn down chads offer to bend them over and fuck them into oblivion. besides, scotty and kevin should not be allowed to even think about saying no to a guy that hot. if anything it should have been the other way around. cause truth be told i never understood chad's attraction to kevin. or scottys for that matter. sure its sweet to show a plain gay like kevin get all these sexy guys but we all know in real life chad and scotty would be fucking each other and they wouldnt even give kevin a second glance. dont deny it. the gays dont watch this show for kevin. we watch it to see what cock hes gonna get to ride next. and the fact that he didnt ride chads tonight is inexcusable. fuck that show and fuck you all.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

OMFG! Jason Lewis Is Back On Brothers & Sisters!!!

i dont know how this managed to fly under my gaydar but apparently jason lewis is on tonights episode of bitches and sluts. so could it be? is chad finally cumming back to chase scotty off and be with kevin?!?! i love scotty and all but come on! its jason lewis. and i never really got over the fact that they put kevin with gay face scotty over jason "fuck me" lewis. it was just so unbelievable. there is no way you let go of that hunk after your ass cheeks clamp down on that cock. its smith for fucks sake!! if we're really supposed to believe kevin is a smart, levelheaded gay man then there is no way hed have let chad get away so easily. anyway heres hoping hes back for good. or at least long enough to fuck kevin. and just in case they dont fuck lets remember the good old days.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Has Ryan Finally Given Up Drag?

not sure. but hes all man in this video and im glad. id almost forgotten how hot he is.

if ryan makes me want to cum then susan boyle makes me want to cry. not that i would ever do such a silly thing. rm on the other hand was blubbering like a little bitch.

Watch CBS Videos Online

The Silver Fux Explains That It's Hard To Talk When You're Teabagging

speaking of teabagging do we think jd has big balls?

so you may be asking yourself the question "does it get any better than andy coopy talking about teabagging?!" well yes. it does. heres rush limbaugh working himself into a tizzy and saying the word teabagging a few hundred times.

in other news mason wyler continues to make my hole pucker and my cock leak.

he may be a bit um...eccentric but hes a hot fuck so im okay with it.

look! cody cummings! hes totally straight but surprisingly and refreshingly candid about enjoying getting blow jobs from men. and his interviewer confirms what we've always suspected. at least half the gay-for-pay boys are really gay and big nelly bottoms. speaking of bottoming i gotta admit while i cant wait to see him fuck a guy watching him eat pussy is another thing that makes my hole pucker. blowing a dude seems to be something hed rather not do but i hope he doesnt mind eating a little ass!

thanks gay daily hot!

so heres leo giamani. if he knows whats good for him he'll arrange a threesome with me and mason soon. otherwise we may be forced to strap him down and take turns on his cock. hes super cute in this interview. i thought he was straight caused hes fucked the puss on cam but he has the slightest and most adorable gay lisp ever so who knows. is there such a thing as straight-for-pay? and where does the gay lisp come from anyways? sucking too much cock?

but back to talking while teabagging which the latter half of this video shows is actually not that hard to do.

it is however hard to talk with a mouth full of cock. especially if its jds huge dick!

Monday, April 13, 2009

OMFG!! Ryan Was Here!

so ryan left a comment on my recent post about him!! and im totally cumming all over myself!! i think ab is jealous cause he definitely doesnt have this affect on me. so thanks for dropping by ryan! i love your (crazy) ass!

I Bet The Foot Fetishists Loved This!

but personally i would have found it more enjoyable if he had been teaching him how to masturbate. imagine how differently that whole sucking bit would have turned out.

and click here if youd like to see some hunky rugger buggers switch shirts. though itd be a lot more fun if they were switching underwear.

Friday, April 10, 2009

I Came All Over Myself In An Elevator Today

so i got into the elevator in my building today and the greatest thing ever happened. leo came in behind me! you have no idea how much i wish this was as dirty as it sounds. now this was not the first time we had been in the elevator together. it had happened one other time late at night but it was a total dud cause when he got on ab was force feeding me his tongue. ab is rarely embarrassed by pda, especially so when hes drunk which he was. so he was completely unfazed when leo got on the elevator while we were making out, on our way up to my place to fuck. i wanted to escape that brutes embrace so i could make contact with leo but he had me pinned against the wall so i made the most of the situation by rubbing abs hardening cock so leo would know what he was in store for when i finally got him alone. from what i could tell he looked uncomfortable but i couldnt tell if it was "shit these two are giving me a boner" discomfort or "shit i think these fags are gonna start fucking right in front of me i need to find the nearest pussy so i can fuck it and feel like a man" discomfort. rmgf said it was the latter and that she wishes she had been on that elevator with us.

so anyway back to today. he says "hey" with that sexy deep straight boy voice of his and i just nod hello nervously and start squirming because i started to cum. then he asked me to get on my knees and suck his dick. well no he didnt ask me that. actually he didnt say anything else. probably cause my drooling was freaking him out. that or the fact that i was rubbing my still rock hard cock. i on the other did try to say something to engage him in conversation but it didnt work cause all that came out of my mouth was some sort of guttural moan. i just couldnt speak properly cause my brain was too busy thinking about the two of us stripping naked and using the cum spilling out of my boxers to lube up his cock so he could give me the elevator ride of my life. now if you're wondering why im making such a huge deal about us being in an elevator together (huge like his cock) it has little to do with the fact that common courtesy demands that we exchange pleasantries or the fact that we were so close i could smell him. its because we were in a confined space where he was trapped and i could finally have my way with him whether he liked it or not. i dont care if he is twice my size there is no way hes fighting me off. when im horny i have the strength of a thousand twinks which is like the strength of one hundred men.

sadly though i didnt get the chance to make my move. before i could our cum-filled elevator ride was over. first he got off, then i got off a second time looking at his sexy ass and wondering how it would look while he fucked me into nirvana, and then finally i got off the elevator to go clean myself up. i was so sticky what with all the cum and drool.

and while the fact that i totally missed out on finally having my way with leo upsets me what really pisses me off is that rmgf has been on the elevator with him like 4 times and rm sees him "a lot". rmgf doesnt even fucking live here!! and rm is straight which means leos hotness and bulges are wasted on him!!! bitches! now if you'll excuse me im gonna go do my boyfriend doggy style and pretend hes leo. i dont think ill able to fall asleep until ive cum a few more times.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

So Much To Cum About Today

oh ashton kutcher. you may be a dick but im gay and i like dick. the kutch is getting his chest waxed and hes in so much pain i want to blow him to make it all better. cause blow jobs make everything better. am i right?

some sexy naked french poll vaulter named romain mesnil running around the streets of paris naked. did i say naked twice? good cause hes naked. sadly we dont get the cock but the ass is boner worthy.

but whats even hotter than that is watching the silver fux talk about it and wondering if hes hard.

funny and gay clip from some 80s brit show called comedy strip presents.

cant talk. too busy cumming.

and now let us shed a single cum drop for the finale of surf camp. i know what you're thinking. but whatever will i do without brennan?!?!?!?! the answer. i dont fucking know. i just dont fucking know.

but dont despair. cause that crazy bitch ryan has a blog now! if you seek ryan!! love the title. wish i had thought of it. and just to get you interested in it here is one of the funniest things i have seen in a while.

i intend to check his blog out frequently cause if ryan is the smart and horny fag i think he is he'll figure out a way to get those cute little ass cheeks of his on brennans cock. if he hasnt already. and i want all the dirty details!!


so one of my readers asked me to post a link to his blog cock search 2009. hes a 40-something guy in an ltr who still enjoys a cock or two or ten on the side. hes tracking his sex life over the course of the year. check it out and enjoy fuckers.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

What The Fuck Patty?!

so i think april fools day was probably the perfect day for the damages finale. cause patty hewes could probably pull off the biggest april fools prank of all time. in fact, i think she just did. im still wrapping my head around it. ill admit i was slightly disappointed with some things. but for the most part i thought it was an amazing finale and like that most of the stories were wrapped up so next season can have a fresh start. im a little disappointed ellen didnt really shoot patty. but i accept that if she did it would have made things messy. if patty died the show wouldnt be as good and if she survived sending ellen off to prison would still be a pretty major loss for the show. but as upsetting as it is i cant say im entirely surprised. in an odd way throughout the show i kept getting the feeling that spending more and more time with patty was maybe causing ellen to reevalute the woman who once tried to kill her. so even though it doesnt entirely makes sense i felt it was somewhat believable that ellen forgave her. look at tom. patty has put him through all kinds of shit and hes still stuck by her. sure she hasnt tried to kill him...yet. but still patty does have some bizaare hold over people.

its funny but even though the show didnt exactly end on a nail biting cliffhanger i still have tons of questions. im assuming ellen will be back next season but im intrigued to find out about this new job and if shell ever work with patty again. and what about frobisher? he seems to have gotten away with having those men kill david which is upsetting. having ellen kill patty would have been mostly unacceptable. but offing frobisher? i think patty would have been proud. anyway i hope wes is back. i assume hes the guy ellen was talking about but knowing this show come next year we'll find out shes dating oh i dont know....frobisher maybe??

so what did you guys think? hope we get some sort of resolution as far as the fact that purcell didnt actually kill his wife? did you love watching patty kick her son out and even better sending him to live with his new mommy? i have to say it was probably my favorite part of the whole show even though i thought it was oddly touching that michael said he couldnt leave cause he was the only man she had left. though i do think that was probably total bullshit. and what about maddox? are you hoping she returns next year as pattys new partner? cause even though she wasnt in the finale i totally thought she and patty were gonna go into business together when claire ratted kendick out. can you imagine?!?!?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The Shit Has Pretty Much Hit The Fan

so a lots been going on lately. i really fucked up and now ab wont talk to me. things have been really awkward with me and rm and i just wish i hadnt screwed everything up. see things between rm and rmgf have been strained lately. all they do these days is fight and rm complains about their drama nonstop. they can barely stand to be in the same room together so as you can imagine rm hasnt been getting any lately. we were watching tv a couple days ago and i noticed rm had a hard-on and when i mentioned it he just laughed nervously. i dont know what the fuck i was thinking but abs been getting on my nerves as usually lately and i guess i just wanted to do something to piss him off. so i reached out and started rubbing rms cock and he pretty much just froze and didnt say anything. so i put my hand down his pants and started jerking him off. after a while he started leaking precum and used it to get his cock nice and slick. then i got down on my knees in front of him and slowly pulled his shorts down. he was freeballing and it was so sexy. i played with his balls and then started sucking his cock. i went really slowly sucking his shaft as far back as i could and then slowly pulling him out and licking his head. he was shaking he loved it so much. but i was going too slow for him and he put his hand on the back of my head and started fucking my face. i pulled my boxers off and started jerking myself off. he was fucking my mouth too hard and i managed to get his cock out of my mouth. his cock was covered in spit and cum. i told him i wanted him to fuck me. a sinister smile spread across his face. he said bend over bitch and ill give you what you want. i did as i was told and he slapped my ass hard. then spit right at my hole twice. he rubbed his saliva into my ass and then stood up and i knew he was about to stick his cock in my....oh who the fuck am i kidding. if i even think about touching rms cock he curls up in the fetal position from fearing of being converted. why? he hears the noises coming out of my room when im blowing ab. he knows my bj skills would be too much for him to overcome. anyway happy april fuck you day bitches!