Saturday, April 25, 2009

My Mother Saw My Boyfriend's Dick: A Cock-tionary Tale By Tim Frix

so heres a piece of advice. next time you decide to walk around your boyfriends apartment naked check to make sure his mothers not there first. especially if the night before your boyfriend told you his mother was coming over to take him to brunch. sure you may have been too busy nursing a hang over to think rationally but guess what? your boyfriend doesnt give a fuck!

but seriously. why do these fucking things always happen to me?! cause if it wasnt already awkward enough my mother saw my boyfriend dripping wet covered only by a towel things are even more awkward now that shes seen his dick. the dick he uses every night to fuck her son until he cums all over himself like a little bitch. oh and to add insult to injury when he realized his folly and turned to walk back into my room he did so slowly. as though he wasnt even embarrassed. and then, to top it all off. he. scratched. his. ass. so as you can imagine brunch was extremely uncomfortable. i spent most of the time in silence, hoping my mother wouldnt bring up the events that had just transpired. she on the other hand talked. and talked. and talked. hoping to avoid some sort of awkward conversation lull. fun times!

and of course when i got home i found no sympathy. ab thought it was funny, i can only assume rm agreed with him since he was too busy laughing his ass off to express his thoughts on the issue, and my sister simply wondered aloud how long it had been since my mother had seen a cock. rmgf was the only one who felt my pain as her mother once saw rm naked. though it was under different circumstances as he was on top of rmgf at the time.

so, have you guys ever had a parent see your boyfriend naked? howd you deal with it? live in complete denial or face it head on? and do you agree with rmgf that i should just be grateful that when my mother finally saw my boyfriend naked his dick was flaccid and hanging between his legs as opposed to being hard and balls deep in my ass? cause personally i think i would have preferred it in my ass than her actually seeing it.

well if you'll excuse me rm sounds like a hyena when he laughs and its annoying me. so i think ill go smother him with a pillow. or my ass.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

You poor thing! I'm sorry but I have to admit that I loled a lil bit while reading ur story... Have you come out to your mother? I cant remember..

Anonymous said...

Yes you have come out... My bad!

EM said...

Hahahahaha!

dickophile said...

tmnd - trust me if i hadnt come out yet this would have been a whole different post. and my mother would be in therapy right now.

em - go on. laugh. laugh so hard you dont notice me sitting on your face. that was rms mistake. mwhahahahahaha

EM said...

You're welcome to sit on my face anytime!

dickophile said...

you sound like my boyfriend. perv. ;p

A said...

i wish i had seen ab naked. but thats nothing new. im sure your mother, enjoyed the experience even if she was a bit shocked. i mean really, at what age is seeing a hot guy naked a bad thing? can catch you off guard but really, never a bad thing. you could take pictures and post them to give us all an understanding of the experience...just a suggestion

A said...

im okay with that since i now know its your screen saver. or did he make you change it?

A said...

i whole heartedly approve

dickophile said...

not whole dickedly?

Bruce Von Sloneker said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
A said...

I'm going to blame not having my morning starbucks on missing that pun

Unknown said...

at least your mom didn't see your man's dick and then go down on him. JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

I'M NOT EVEN IN YOUR LINKS ANYMORE! For shame dickypoo. I thought we were better than that lol

dickophile said...

a - or perhaps lack of a morning blow job?