Fuck Of July

so as you all know my sister has come out for a visit. she got here on saturday and the three of us (me her and ab) went to my parents house. they were having a small party with some friends and family. there werent too many people near our age there except some cousins. but we hate them. so mostly my sister and i just sat there suffering in silence. well maybe im exaggerating a bit. but. still. there was an utter lack of eye candy. the only guys in the pool were either relatives, fug, or too old. or all three. im sure ax's fagtacular fourth of july party was more fun. but its family so what the fuck are you gonna do?

the only fun thing is that this was the first time a lot of my family got to meet ab. so my sister and i entertained ourselves watching how uncomfortable some of them were. why were they uncomfortable? cause ab cant keep his hand off my ass. it only could have been better if he tried to finger me. actually i think my sister tried to get him to do that. but he showed restraint.

the most embarrassing thing for me was that ab decided to go for a swim and when he got out he was soaking wet and there was a noticeable bulge.

sister: you really let him stick that in your ass?

she this out loud. for everyone to hear. she was almost screaming it at the top of her lungs. cunt.

other than that though ab was of course a hit with my family. hes like the perfect gay. dickhead. anyway i might have been bored most of the time but ab seemed to enjoy himself. he even helped my dad with the barbecue. ive totally been replaced as his son and im expecting him to change the will any day now. oh well. ive been planning to live off ab anyway so it really doesnt matter.

Happy ValenFuck

so i really didnt feel like doing anything special for valentines day and neither did ab. my parents were going away together for the weekend so we went to their house to have some alone time.

we didnt do much. no romantic dinner or candlelit fuck. we just sort of relaxed. did some skinny dipping and pool side fucking for the neighbors and walked around the neighborhood hand in hand. which is romantic enough for me. anyway we didnt really exchange gifts but i did give ab something kind of special. the key to my heart. well, no. it was the key to my place so he can cum and go as he pleases. the key to my heart is chace crawfords pretty pink penis and the keyhole is my ass.

but if this valenfuck wasnt sentimental enough for you dont worry. we promised each other next year (if i havent broken up with him yet) we'll go all out and celebrate properly. and the fucker better get me the key to my heart. i dont care how expensive kidnappers are.

Horny New Year!!

happy new year bitches!!!

so where to start? well for me the last day of '08 started the way all days should start. with a tongue knocking on my backdoor. gotta love ab. he knows how to keep his bitch happy. so after some sucking, fucking, screaming, reaming, and cum shooting rm and rmgf seemed to cum at about the same time. now this was not the first time id heard these two fuck but, it was definitely the most interesting. rmgf even called rm daddy. now when guys do that in gay porn its hot, but when she did it all i could seem to think of was rmgf's dad doing...well something you should not do to your daughter. anyway ab and i decided against fucking with that nasty imagery in our heads. leave it to the breeders to stop gays from enjoying themselves.

anyway rmgf and i spent most of the day lounging around while the idiots, er boyfriends got things ready for the impending invasion of our party guests. rmgf and i decided to come up with some new years fucks. like new years resolutions only specific to the guys youd like to fuck after you get rid of the dead weight. hers were all the american olympians and mine were all the gossip guys. young and old. im not picky.

the party was quite fun and ax and jock were there. so was jocks new girlfriend. can you say awkward? i felt bad for her but shes pretty and im sure in a few years she and jock can look back on this and laugh while sitting on their couch in their hip new york apartment while their faggy friend screeches like a howler monkey. no wait. thats will and grace. this real life situation will probably end in disaster not 8 years of laughs. oh well.

so as the new year approached i have to say i was kinda sorta emotional? i had some sort of happy, weird emotion thingy i hadnt felt before so im not sure what to call it. the point is for the first time i had a guy, a hot guy, to tongue when the clock struck 12. so as taylor swift and joe "fuckable again since he shaved and got a haircut" jonas ignored each other i grabbed rm and tongue fucked that bitches mouth like it was the last time (cause i knew he would never let me get that close again). ab didnt notice though cause rmgf was keeping his mouth occupied. i dont know that rm enjoyed himself (he has gay cooties now) but ab was a good sport and even gave rmgf a little dip. then the bitch touched his ass and i had to shew her away cause that was not in the agreement.

anyway 09 rang in without a hitch and after we kicked out our guests ab and i enjoyed our first fuck of the new year. so how was your new years? wait. i dont care. fuck you all.

p.s. is anyone else glad polislag is back?

BAH HUMFUCK!!! (Or Is It Bum Fuck?)

you dont have to read this. i just wanted to vent.

so. christmas. how was yours? i think id rather just forget it. it was supposed to be simple enough. my mother didnt feel like hosting or traveling anywhere. just supposed to be me, my parents, my sister, and her new boyfriend. or rather i should say her boyfriend of two years who we have never met. see thats how you do it. thats what i planed on doing. and then the bitch screwed it up for me. have i ever mentioned my sister? no? probably because shes an evil sadistic bitch. (can you tell we dont get along? my childhood was essentially all out psychological warfare with the bitch.) so say technically speaking i didnt actually come out to her. she wasnt high on my list of people to tell. and say after the mass coming out of fucksgiving she found out through the grapevine (i assumed my parents had told her awhile ago on one of the rare occasions they talk but apparently not) and say she was a bit peaved i didnt tell her myself. so say she calls me and that fucker ab answers my phone as he is wont to do (does he think im cheating on him? would i?) and say i admit hes my boyfriend. well of course she would tell on me. why? she's evil. so now i have my mother saying i have to bring him for christmas and ab saying he wants to come. but of course ab's mother, the salt of the earth a beautiful milf of a woman would never allow her son to skip christmas!! but no! he can go! she wouldnt let him come out to play for thanksgiving but since all four of his brothers would be around this time ab was disposable. (i would just like to take a moment to say that ab's brothers are hot. like seriously fuckably hot. like i want to have an ab family orgy as soon as possible.) so its all set. its going to be the six of us. ill be surrounded by mother, father, sister, sisters boyfriend, and ab. god help me.

i guess it didnt go too bad. and by that i mean i didnt have a nervous breakdown. as i assumed my parents sorta loved ab. hes big and strong and smart and every parents dream child. he even played football with father and sisters boyfriend. but still there was a wee bit of tension in the air. it was that look my parents would give even though they said they loved him. im sure all the bottoms out there know what look. the one a parent gives to the man thats fucking their son up the ass. oh sure id like to pretend that im man enough so that for all my father knows im the top. but lets face it. if youve got say brent corrigan and leo giamani standing in front of you it aint that hard to figure out whos fucking who.

perhaps the most terrifying, mind altering, life scarring moment came when me, mother, and sister were watching the boys play with balls. my mother announced that she wondered when she knew i was gay if that instead of ending up with a woman like her id get a man like father. and i did she said. huh? what? wait. no. hes not. he. fuck. it was true. i realized. tall. athletic. jock. good looking. good family. slightly drunken youth. but still upstanding. im. fucking. my. father!!!!!!!!!! apparently my sister is too. and so the two of us sat there in silence. watching them. as we watched them they all seemed to morph into a single being. with one big jock brain. and those words ringing in my ears. you're fucking your father......you're fucking your father..... i called rm for support but he of course laughed. and laughed. fucker. rmgf says shed love to fuck my father. she needs help. i think this means i have to break up with ab. right?

we spent the night. parents in one room. me and ab in another. sister and boyfriend in another. i think if it had just been me and sister hadnt come home they would have put me and ab in different rooms but well with her and boyfriend there everyone would have had to be separated to keep it equal and you can sure as shit bet i would have forced mother and father to take separate rooms. but nothing happened. ab wanted to fuck. but. i couldnt. i sat in my old room having flashbacks to when i would jerk off late at night half aroused half scared out of my mind id be caught and persecuted. the thought of mother walking in and seeing ab fucking me like his bitch was...i couldnt. had it been any other family member i would have fucked him gladly and made a lot of noise. but. i couldnt. plus. it would have been like fucking my father....

so. notable moments. the top moment was when ab walked out of the shower soaking wet with only a towel to cover his modesty. my mother saw him. she seemed. excited? and tongue tied. which never happens to her. my mother is an ice queen. it was both disturbing and humorous. more so disturbing because i think my parents.....uhm. you know. that night. so yeah.

its over now though. but not really. the things that happened in that house will never truly be forgotten.

but the good news is the bitch and her boyfriend are gone and new years is mine fuckers!! plan is me, ab, rm, rmgf, some others and a mass orgy. or not. you know how rm is....

p.s. if you made it this far thank you. and if you think im being dramatic about all this fuck you.it was soooo much worse to live it. im a survivor okay?!

Merry Christmas! Here's a Jingle Cock!

merry christmas bitches!! like you ill probably be disappearing for a little while but i did this post a couple days ago for you guys. its my gift to all of you. this nice guy sent me some pics a few days ago and i have to say i was quite surprised. hes got a nice cock too. 7 1/2 inches bitches. i almost didnt want to post them cause as well all know at this point dick pics is just a name. a sad reminder of what this blog could have been. but i couldnt keep this guys cock all in my ass. i mean all to myself. and in the spirit of the season i have dubbed him jingle cock. (would have called him jingle balls but you cant really see them that much in the pics.) enjoy. and dont forget this blog is supposed to be a place to post pics of my readers cocks so dont be shy and send me some pics if youve got a hot cock.

Fucks-giving!

so. thanksgiving. i had wanted to spend it with ab and rm and rmgf and any eye candy we could muster. but of course we all got roped into the whole fam thing cause obviously we're not old enough yet to escape our parents control (will we ever be? my grandmother still strikes fear into the heart of my mother. and thats just when her name shows up on the caller id) so rmgf went off to her fam ab went off with his and i went off with mine and we all promised to stay in contact and meet up today to debrief and complain about those bloodsuckers we call family. luckily for me and rm though our families combined thanksgivings ages ago so we relied on each other to stay sane. which coincidentally is the reason our mothers combined thanksgiving themselves.

you know im not sure but i think my dad is fantasizing that rm and i are a couple. he hasnt met ab yet (does he even know ab exists? hmm) but i think all these years and especially after i came out hes hoped id run off with rm. see rm is tall and relatively good looking and butch and plays with balls. no i mean the kind you blow up. no i mean the big ones. i mean the kind you throw. yeah those. and so im fairly certain that my father has always wished that rm was his son. and if we get married he'll have the closest thing to it. i think thats why he'll like ab. cause even though he's fucking me up the ass hes like every fathers dream child. fucker.

anyway despite the fact that i took the opportunity to tell every relative that asked if i had a girlfriend yet that i liked sucking cock (much to rm's delight since he was seriously bored and enjoyed watching me give most of my relatives heart attacks) we survived. actually i spent most of my time with rm's mom. shes like the best fag hag ever. like grace but older and with bigger boobs. i told her how my boyfriend likes it when i give him a blow job while he watches sports and she told me that her husband has finally found her g-spot. and yes i did share that with rm and he is traumatized.

but honestly despite all logic and reason i do sorta like my family and even though i could have gone without dealing with so many of them all at once it wasnt entirely horrible.

anyway the whole gang met up today to trade war stories and we all seem to be in one piece. so let the doomsday countdown to christmas begin!!!