So Apparently Every Fag Was Invited To The Teen Choice Awards But Me.

no really. every twink ive ever had a wet dream about was there. the fagalicious chace crawford.

that other fag taylor.

and my new favorite fag david archuleta.

so as you can see david is quite pleased to be next to the rather studly john cena.

hes smiling cause john is telling him what hes going to do him in bed later that night.

it looks like john is about to whack him across the ass but david doesnt seem to mind. kinky bitch.

but now david seems a little nervous since john is threatening to shove that bottle up his ass.

but that wouldnt scare taylor who is a rather experienced bottom. im sure he could fit that hole surfboard up his sloppy ass.

so does wanting to have a threesome with these two making me bi? i dont want to fuck her. i just want to stare at her naked.

so do we think hes well hung? i dont care. i just want him in my mouth.

now more importantly do we think these two have fucked each other yet? and even more importantly which one is the top? oh who am i kidding. rob is totally the top. and i bet taylor likes it hard.

gotta love that ass. looks like hes squeezing. robs cum must still be up there.

oh chace. i just want lick your face. after i cum on it. in fact lets all cum on his face. i think he'd like it.

as if we needed any more proof that chace likes to shove that pretty pink penis in boy holes here he is looking rather happy to be standing next to zac efron.

and now its time to play everyone's favorite game whose hole is puckering: the zefron edition.

zac of chace? totally zac. chace is still playing it cool. zac looks like hes just experienced his first anal orgasm.

zac or david? david. zac is still thinking about that anal orgasm. david is about to run to the bathroom to clean up all the ass spooge.

okay i get it. your ass is so close to zac efron you could mount his cock. stop rubbing it in my face. cunt.

seriously? ugh!!! i hate this bitch. first zac makes his ass tatum and now hes about to get double penetrated by zac and john cena?!?!?! ive got total ass envy.

okay i need to stop talking about all the twinks i didnt get to fuck this week.

lets move on to true blood. spoilers bitches.

The Pandorica Is Open And So Is My Mouth. I Want To Blow Someone.

i want to sit on his face.

oh my. ill just get on my knees now and open wide.

just fuck me already.

so is anyone else excited for the doctor who finale?

Try Not To Get Cum All Over Your Computer Like I Did. Or On Your Boyfriend. It's Not The Cumshot He'll Hate. It's The Fact That He Didn't Cause It.

so as you may or may not know chace crawford has been named by people this summers hottest bachelor.


this of course is not surprising because while robert pattinson may cause every woman on the planet to wet her panties by making this face...


chace crawford has an even more powerful ability which probably helped him beat out robby. and its not his pretty pink penis. its something more powerful. he can make a mans hole pucker.

ed: you're making my hole pucker. want to fuck me? chace: you would not believe how many people have asked me that today!


so why did this power cum in handy? well i may be going out on a limb here but im guessing that people magazine is run by cum loving fairies. after all this is the mag that named hugh jackman the sexiest man alive.


and hes like every fags wet dream cum true. hes a straight (?) man with the body of an adonis and the personality of a theater queen.



and then theres the muttonchops. the muttonchops that'll tickle while hes eating out your asshole thats puckering cause you're watching nate and chuck flirt on gossip girl. cause the huge junk man is perfect and wont object to you watching gossip girl while he fucks the shit out of your ass and sings show tunes like some assholes *cough*ab*cough*.


also on the list is taylor kitsch.


aka wolverines own personal cum dump gambit.


hes most likely on the list because people magazine wanted to acknowledge the love that dare not speak its name.


and now i would like to give an honorable mention to crissy ronaldo who was not named a hot summer bachelor but totally should have been which is why hes pissed.


oh crissy. you can stick that finger anywhere you like.